I don’t why I don’t have in my mind now except this word….Empty!!
I don’t have something to say or describe…I even don’t have something to write!
I feel that I don’t feel anything…I don’t feel happy & I don’t feel sad.
I don’t feel loved nor I feel hated.
As if every feeling became fake like people!…
U fake happiness sometimes when u see someone…U fake loving someone…U fake missing someone… U fake enjoying something with people…Even u can fake Caring!
I know that all of that is bad & not the right think to do …& Unfortunatly I know that by heart & I wish I don’t do it.
But sometimes, Some people force you to do that…whether they mean to force this or not..BUt they force you to act in a way that’s not yours!
But there is an important Question here that I wish I can find an answer to it…..Should me act with people according to what they really deserve & don’t deserve ?? Or we should act with them according to who U are ?!!
For example, if  someone is sick ..& this someone don’t care very much about u …Do u ask about him because he deserve it (or because he ask in return ?) OR you ask because U care about people & u r a good person who want to make a difference with people ?!!!!
That’s a question that really bothers me a lot…I wish i could find an answer for it!

I wish I could know what exactly that I want?!….I wish I could put everything in my life in a 1 ,2,3 steps…..in a manual that don’t change…

Memories are the best  things that can happen to someone…

Have u ever asked urself ,why Did God gave us the gift of Memory ???!!!

They may be sometimes good ones and other times bad ones…but at the end even if they were bad ones,when u stop and remember them,u must see something that u didn’t see before.
May be u can see how tough u were in this situation!
OR for example, u see that u learned a lesson that u didn’t learn before and  u weren’t going to learn it except the hard way!!

Some memories are life time ,& others are just a short time memories.
For example, some of my memories that I want to remember all my life is my first day at school .
I remember how I looked and how I was happy about it ( the opposite of  many other children ..huh?!:D).
I remember my pinkish school uniform and my black snikers shoes…I remember Mammy photographing me to send 
the picture of my first day to my dad coz he was travelling ..I remember that photo it was in the balcony of my grandma’s house.
I remember also my first day at university…I was wearing a strapped blue body & a blue jeans and high heels talon(& that was my last time of wearing high heels at uni ).I remember that my uncle drove me to uni early and I was tottaly lost & don’t know what to do!..I waited for sometime untill I found that friend of my cousin who showed me arount the place and got me my schedule.

I remember also my Admission day at university. I was wearing a Pink Polo shirt, a short  pants jeans and a pinky jeans shoes.My hair was hanged in a ponytail & it was dark & long.
I remember how I was amazed by the place at first.It was really amazing. Also that I was treated like a VIP person..this made everything more perfect:D.( I knew after that ,that it bugged some of my TO BE friends in uni that was there on the day…but it also was a nice memory to remember for the rest of my life:D)
I remembered going to the library to make the online admission application,and then waiting for my addmission exam to take it.Then I was accepted !!

I remember the first Concert at uni…it was the besttt.
Lots and Lots and Lotsss of Memories…. I wish I could write them all down!!..I really wishhhh.
All these are Good Memories…What about bad Memories?!! Do I need to remember them?!!
May be not all of them coz sometimes bad memories don’t bring something good except saddness and grief…
I just ran through a Quote that I loved so much..it says that “God will not give u a burden that U can’t handle, if u ever find urself in a mess which seems impossible to resolve,Take it as a compliment …God thinks U Can do it “

To Be Continued…

I just wanna understand,
Coz it is becoming complicated to stand!

Coz ununderstanding is killing me,
it is tearing -apart me.

I just feel hurt from nothing,
I feel confusedddd of something!!!!

I know that I don’t love u..
& I know that u don’t love me too,
BUt I want to understand where am standing with u ?!

U seem u don’t wanna look in my eyes..
& u are not giving me any cluesss,
at the times that I wanna look in yours.

Everything seems cold between  us,
even worse that 2 who don’t know each others .

What is making me mad is that,
u gave me many things very quicklyy that,
it didn’t take us time to know each other..
BUT as soon as u gave it to me,
u took everything again so quicklyyy.

 
When am around u ,I feel weired!
I guess if I love u ,I must feel cheered.

BUt that’s not always the case,
I don’t feel happy..I don’t smile as I do,
I keep thinking & thinking & thinking in everything u do.

I keep wondering from ur rude reactions,
I simply don’t do things to deserve these actions!

WHy are u that coward to announce it to me?!!!!!
why are u that weired to face it & tell me?!!!

I know that I am also being coward to face you,
but that’s because I am supposed to be the weak person and not u.!

Even if I thought of  facing you ,
I am sure that u will tell me I don’t mean you, 
it is like that with all the other people around u,
& it is just time that changes me & changes you.

Does it have a meaning?.. ..that u don’t love me
 or u want to deliver a message… Like stop caring for me?!!

I don’t know,
& it is killing me not tooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really need to understand youuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

P.S: That is my first trial everrrr of  writing a poem….So Please I need your opinions very much.

WOW…time is flying by !!!! it has been a long time since I last wrote something …it said last time was April 30 & it wasn’t me who wrote the article even …I was just sharing it.

Time to write somthing new,right?!!
But what should I write ?!!?!?!?!

Something about swine flu?!….!No ,No …enough about it …mmmm Something about failure ?!!! no no no I already wrote that ….mmmmmmm Something about Love ?!!! …..may be!…. although all Blogs are full of Love articels…BUT,I guess that whatever happens people will not stop writing about it.

Love is …..Complete the missing word!!
you will ask me Is that it ?!?!?!?  YOu can’t be serious?!!
I will tell  you that …it is a Very Big Powerful word …it can’t be defined easily or said in few words. But, Unfortunatly many people don’t understand it the right way ..

Many people think that love means going from a relation to another…..dating to have fun….Kissing & even having sex!!!
Media production focused it in that way in most of people’s mind..& not media only …I guess there are many people who think of it this way in the first place!!

But have u ever thought what is the realllll meaning of Love?!!!!!!!!…
What U ever thought why GOD created this Love Feeling in us?!!!I have thought about it a lot & I guess I will never understand all the meaning of this word..I wish I could!
what I can say is:

Love is  Desire  to Give non stopabale….!                                                                        
Love is Sharing everything …everywhere and anytime!
Love is Caring !
Love is Missing people!
Love is Feeling happy when u see the person you love…in any condition!
Love is forgiving  and understanding!
Love is Listening!
Love is Giving excuses to the one you love not the opposite!
Love is prioritizing (giving priority)the person u love over yourself!
Love is helping!
Love is Smiling always!
Love is being gentle and kind!
Love is Patient!
Love is Passion!
Love is Fear on You!
Love is Cheer!
Love is Connection!
Love is Communication!
Love is Being Happy when ur loved one is happy and Sad when he’s sad…not coz u pitty him/her!
Love is Great Power that can do what can’t be done!
Love can be THE GREATEST thing in this world but it is the HARDEST too!
Love is……..a Word that is indescrible!

Of Course THE Love I mean is not between a boy or a girl …a man or woman only!! It is between family members……between brothers and sisters….between Friends and Colleagues and Neighbours!
Really this word has a lot of power in it ….if only People can think about it & don’t think about theirselves only!!
this world would have been a very Different and Wonderfl Place.

I just wanted to share this little word…May be I can make a difference ….Cause I believe that everybody can make a difference even if it is for only one person in this world.
If anybody have something to add I will be happy if u shared it too

 

                  When God created woman , He was working late on the 6th day.
An angel came by and said: “why spend too much time on that one?”And the lord answered:
“Have you seen all the specifi-cations i have to meet to shape her?”

 

             “She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands.”

The angel was impressed.
“Just two hands… impossible!”

And this is the standard model?!

“Too much work for one day… wait until tomorrow and then complete her.”

“I’ll not”, said the Lord. “I am so close to complete this creation which will be the favourite of my heart.”

“She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day.”

“The angel came nearer and touched the woman.
“But you have made her so soft, Lord”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But i have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.

“Can she think?” The angel asked.

The Lord answered:
“Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”

The angel touched the woman’s check…
“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking… It’s a tear” the Lord corrected the angel.

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

And the Lord said:
“Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel;
“Lord you are genius.
You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvelous!”

Indeed she is!
Woman has strengths that amaze man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when feeling like screaming, she sings when feeling like crying, cries when she is happy and Laughs when she is afraid.
She fights for what she believes in.
Stands up against injustice.
She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution.
She gives herself so her family can thrive.
She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.
Her love is unconditional.
She cries when her kids are victorious.
She is happy when her friends do well.
She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding.
Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies.
But she finds the strenght to get on with life.
She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her:
“SHE FORGETS WHAT SHE IS WORTH…”

 

N.B: I found that article on the net..& I couldon’t leave it like that without sharing…& I would like to take the chance & Thank the  one who wrote that wonderful article…Thank You!!

 

IT is so strange how Someone can change other one’s life 360 degrees or even more !!
It is strange too how Love can CHANGE People  & Do wonderful things that they didn’t do before or They even didn’t imagine they can do it .

After watching the movie ,I Reallyy want to find that SOMEONE who would change MY LIFE !!!…OR let me say …I Need that someone Badly!

I will continue later..I just wanted to save the Thought for now!!
Really it is a Great Movie…..

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

Just  few days ago ,I began to realize that I am AFRAID of LOVE!!!!!!!!!…yes that is strange …but that’s the truth!

Few years ago ,I used to be a veryyyy Romantic & Sensitive person ….who is Desperate to Love & be Loved…
BUT now ,Although I still think about love a lot,But I realized that I started to be afraid of Love…
yes ,I am afraid to Love the wrong Person….
Afraid that a Wrong person love me too….
Afraid to hurt someone that I don’t mean to hurt…
Afraid that if I love  someone he will not be the one …
Afraid that I may not love at all !!!! Or may be NOt Be Loved!!

Afraid that I may not find the one to understand me…
I Don’t know if Me Not loving anyone or not be Loved ….a Real Love …till now…even ONCE…is it because of me ?!!!!
Or it is just not the right time ?!!!
Is it because I don’t open my heart easily for Love?!!!!…
Or is it god Trying to protect me from falling for Wrong People…That I may not be able to Bare what they may do to me if i loved the Wrong One ?!!

I Don’t know?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

That’t just a little thought that hitted my mind !

I am a vey Big Fan Of Quotes….I do find then Inspiring for me in most of the situations…
May be that’s because I don’t know how to express myself  in lots of situations…So I find what I want to say or what
I believe in ,in Quotes.

Here are some of my Favorite Quotes that I like so much:

•  ”A friend worth your tears, will never make you cry.”
• “ Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend” 
• “ Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must one hundred try.”
• “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter -Mark Twain”
• “May you love as long as you live and live as long as you love- Robert Heinlein “
•  ” There are two kinds of  failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought “
• “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
• “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” 
• ” Never underestimate the POWER of your actions..With one small gesture u can change a person’s life..For BETTER ..or for WORSE!!”
• “Love Deeply & passionately …u might get hurt..But it is the only way to live life completely ”
• ” if we r all alone,then we r all together in that too “
• “Whatever you fear most has no power – it is your fear that has the power-Oprah Winfrey”
• “Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is neccessary“
• “Photography, fortunately, to me has not only been a profession but also a contact between people – to understand human nature and record, if possible, the best in each individual.-Nickolas Muray”
• “In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.
• “Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything “
• “  Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.
• “Friendship is like china, costly and rare, easily mended, but the scratches are always there”.

 

I think that’s fair enough for noww!!
But that doesn’t mean that my quotes are Over …
To Be continued…….

I don’t  have a special thing to write now..BUT I just feel that I want to write.
I have always wished that I could write stories,novels or even poems…But Unfortunatly I don’t have the gift !!!
Really that’s a big gift that some people don’t see it ..

It is a very good thing to have a Special View or to Create someting from ur Imagination & Be able to deliver it to people & share it with them…
Sometimes I don’t know what is my talent or what specially that I am most interested in !!!I don’t know if this is
a good or a bad thing….I feel that I don’t know MYSELF very well!! …or let me say that I don’t know everything about me.
I still discover new things about me everyday…& I still discover new things that I can Do day by day..
I think that’s a good thing…But DO u think u Have to Know Everything about YOURSELF ?!!!!!
OR Do u HAve to Know urself Very Well ?!!
That’s a good Question I think ?!!But Any Answers?!!!?!?!?!?!?

 

In order for example to be able to deal with different types of people?!! …
OR in order to use all ur talents & make it grow ?!!

I think I Don’t know the answer……….Do U ?!!!! 

What If u Don’t…(like me )….what do u think I should do in order to know myself better or in order to know what I am really talented in?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

Yesterday was My Birthdayy…yaayy!!!!it was a small & cozy one ….

For the first time in my life I wasn’t interested at all about celebrating it …I don’t know why !!! 
Then I was encourged &  on the day before it I decided that  I want to celebrate it ….. why not give it a try & call my friends ?!!!!
One of the reasons that made me don’t wanna celebrate it is that thinking that people will not care & may be they will not answer my invitation in the begining.!!!
Then,I began calling my friends , telling them that tomorrow is  my birthday & they have to come.
I was afraid that they will tell me that’s a short notice & that u must have told us earlier ,But I was astonished  that around fifteen persons told me they were free & they will sure comee .I felt  happy then:)
Then ,My birthday came!  I was happy with some people calling me to say Happy Birthday whom I didn’t expect…but I was a little sad whem some people that I love & was waiting to c them ,called to say that they will not be able to come coz  they had somthings that popped up suddenly!!
After that I arrived in the place with one of my girl friends..The place was a nice one.It was my first time to go to it .
we kept waiting for a while untill people started to come…
we reached to be around 13 people…but 3 left very early ..& 2 people came just to tell hii & left…
The place was a quiet one ..with some classic music turned on & some little ballons around …
we chatted a while & was silent a while..I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it..coz I did…
I just was expecting someone close to me to come that he didn’t…He even didn’t call to say that he is sorry & he will not come!!! …IT Seems that I always expect things from the Wrong People!!….& that made my mood a little bittt not clear..BUt Then I deceided that I WILL be happy & nothing will destroy my day :@..
At last,we got the tart & blow the candels:) then I am 23 years old!!!….can’t believe it.
They got me a nice & simple chain & butterfly shaped pandel…I like it .
Thanks my friends…it was small & cozy but i enjoyed.:)
(Frankly speaking it was not tottaly the same like I expected it to be ..specialy that I am supposed to be the one preparing it & it is not prepared for me ….BUt anyways..Not everything u hope for, u find : -) .

it’s a new year once Again. Haleloliaaaaaa !!!
A New year means a new chance to be good person.
A new year means  new ideas & new Experiences..
A new year means new friends..
A new year means new information..
A new year means new Resolutions that I want to do or have ..

My new year resolutions this year is:
First of all ,I want to  finish this semester with good grades …without failling in any courses.
Second, I want to make a good Bachelor project …work hard & achieve a good grade .
Third ,I want to be more closer to God like I used to be when I was younger…I want to depend on him more & remember him more in most cases…I want to thank him more & ask him for helping me more.
four,I want spend more time with my family & show them more love..
five,I want to learn Something new…I don’t know yet what it is..( but may be I will think about learning dancing salsa for example !!)
six,I want to be less sensitive when dealing with people..(I get upset less & don’t wait from them for anything…I just spend good time & that’s it)
Seven,Although I need  it Very Much,BUT I will try not to Search for a partner…I will just forget about it & deal with people around me…As they say” love comes when u least expect it!!”…So I will try to believe this..may be when I believe it ,Love will come …lolll     
eight,I want to make a Highlight in my hair or may be change it’s colour!!!!…
nine,I want to enhance my German Language skills.
ten,I want to take more humane resource enhancement skills .
eleven ,I want to make a internship in an international & large company.(No names plzz coz of advertising issues ..lolll…)
twelve,I want to CALL  my old school friends more than this year( May be I go visit my school!!!!!!!)
thirteen ,I want to be more knowledgable person.(read more & tend to know more information)
Fourteen,I want to return an active person again..go out more often & go to church more often.
Fifteen,I want to learn How to play the Guitar !!!!
Sixteen,I want to return playing my favourite sport  again(Squashhh).
mmmmmmm I think that’s enough…I thought of writing a lot of things so that if I atleast did some of them or half of them that would me Greattttt

Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose
and if you ever saw it
you would even say it glows.All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer                                                      
had a very shiny nose
and if you ever saw it
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
“Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

Then how the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you’ll go down in history 

 

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
“Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

 

Then all how reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you’ll go down in history

 

 

I don’t know why did I like this Christmass song instead of many other christmass songs
May be Because Poor Rudolf reminds me of someone I know VERy VEry well ..
He didn’t do anything in his life except being different than the rest of the reindeers, & instead of People realizing that he is the gifted one coz he is different ,People laughed at him .
But of course that wasn’t the end coz God didn’t create him that way so that people laugh at him,he did so that he can go into history & be famous  

 

Merry Christmass !!!

it is christmass Eve today & I am lying on my bed having nothing to do except writing(Actually I have a lot to do but I don’t feel like doing anything today coz it’s CHRISTMASS !!)
we still  neither  made the christmass tree nor Decorated our house …I am trying to do anything to let me feel christmass but still i don’t very much!

I kept listening to Christmas songs all day long ,Wearing Santa’s  hat & searching for a wallpaper for christmass in order to put some christmass cheer in the air.
I don’t know why ,but still I don’t feel like christmass or new year this year..I wonder why !!
I need to have some change in my life…I don’t know what kind of change But I simply need a Change !!
Hope that the coming new year brings some change in my life..(wishing to ).
God plzzz help me have a change in my life..

I will never find words to express how I feel right now…
I can say that I am speechless , confused ,terrified ,sad ,& shocked.
I am crying on the inside & outside.. ..
I am talking to myself & asking God a lot of questions…
I am trying to know why did that happen ???
I feel that Life is Totally WORTHLESS…(yaa I know that’s tooo pissimistic …& if someone read this would probably say that’s too much) … 
I  feel that A humane life is also Worthless …I feel that there is nothing in this world is worth anything!!
U keep fighting & fighting …..during ur study years u r fighting to get good grades …then ur working years ,u r fighting to get a Good Job with a Good Salary!!….
then after u Become married & have a family ….u keep fighting for ur family to get them all what they need ,
to keep them safe & gurantee that they have a good life in the future !!!

U think that u can have a hand in all that…U think that by Doing this u r safe now & ur family are safe too!!!!!
Untill one day, Life Shocks you with the Only certain thing in this life …DEATH!!!!!!!
When u find that someone really close to u …was there all the time…& One dayyy….He is not there forever !!!!!
If he is a father or a mother, A sister or a brother….or even a Friend!!!!.
I keep asking my self…why God ??? U r the Kindest one in this world ….Why do u permit people to have such hard time??? ( I bet hard is not the word…u can say UNBEARABLE)
Why to permit a family to lose their son in a car accident ?? What did they do to deserve this?!!
If u  have not given them this child from the begining ,That would have been easier for them.
But after living for 20 years with his family…& they bringing him up ,loving , caring ,living for him & fighting for him to keep him safe & make him the best person in their lifes, U just take him in a wink of an eye!!!!!!!

I don’t know what to say !!!!….I am not blaming u God coz I can’t….But I am just wondering !!!!!!!
Is life really that worthless?!!! OR we just don’t understand it right ?!!
What do u want us to do ?!!
what I am sure of is that u didn’t create us to suffer ,coz we r ur children ..& a father will never leave his children to suffer …
BUT what’s the missing part here ?!!!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P Mina, May God bless ur soul..
We r gonna miss u …& Ur Family will miss u too…
Plz God ,if u put his family in this hard situation…make them able to pass it .

Never Gone

I really miss u

There is something I gotta say

“
The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that’s good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that’s between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone

No no no
I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second you’re not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you’ve shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

(Somehow)
Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life yeah)

Never gone from me
If there’s one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we’ve gotta say goodbye (yeah yeah)
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life)

Never gone, never far
In my heart (in my heart is where) is where you are (you are)
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are  “

Dedicated to my dear leaving friend Marc.
I am really gonna miss u my friend.
Hope that u will not forget me as I never will..
Love u & missed u already.

I really don't know why is he doing that to me ?!!!!!
WHY is he dealing with me that way ?!!!
Why did he totally change like this ?!!!
Did I do something wrong that made him hate me ??!!
I didn't ask him for anything!!
I didn't ask him for a favour..
I just want to ask him why he is so changed like this!!
If he came & told me I am bored of u ..I would tell him ok ..I am sorry to disturbe u..& I will
not bother him again .
BUT to change like this without a reason or without telling me anything...That's unbearable !!!!
Was he that UNCaring & bad person from the begining & I didn't see it coz I liked him ?!!

Was I that blind?!!
BUt What was he trying to do ?!!
What made him call me for hours when he didn't like me at first ?!!
What made him ask about me & about my exams ?!!
What made him encourage me on my weak days ?!!
HE was the one that started everything...& That is what I liked about him..& I was always ready
to pay everything back in DOUBLE!!
HE made me feel a bit special..
He made me feel like I am something to him...
I didn't want him to make me feel like I am the love of his life ?!!!
I only like him to make me feel I am a good friend..
I even didn't want him to make me feel Like I am his "BEst Friend" !!..
I only Wanted to feel that I have someone close that at least I can talk with !!
Someone that consider me a good listener ..that he can talk to..
AM I ASKING FOR TOO MUCHHHH ????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am just wondering !!!...Coz I don't understand anythingggg!
IF that was because he CHANGED..why is that change so obvious with me only ?!!
It may be a little bit obvious with some other people...But not the same way.

IF that was because he was STRESSED at work ...So what about now ?!WHen he almost left his job
& he is not stressed any more!!
HE even became not caring to return my calls..
AT least ,if u don't want to ask about me ...Let me ask about uuuuu!!!
Don't just leave me like that speaking to myself ...& not able to study...& u r sitting at home
not caring or doing Whatever & enjoying ur day!!!
U even didn't bother urself TODAY to tell me What's wrong with u at least once !!
U jus 

 

  Written with a pen, sealed with a kiss,
If you’re my friend please answer this. 

Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once but I forgot.

So tell me now & tell me true,
So I can say I’m here for you.

Of all the friends I ever met,
You’re the one I won’t forget.

And if I die before you do,
I’ll go to heaven & wait for you.

I’ll give the angels back their wings,
And risk the loss of everythings.

Because there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do,
To have a friend just like you!!!

 © By Santeria S. Cast

 

 

I just miss u… I miss u in a strange way..
I still miss u  although I see u..
I miss u  although I talk to u..
I miss u although I call u & hear ur voice..
I miss the old person I used to know..
I miss my student friend who keep joking with me & teasing me sometimes…
I miss u asking about me…
I miss u talking to me about what I feel & about my friends..
I miss sitting with u alone ..
I miss u touching my hand in a kind & nice way..
I miss looking in ur eyes & I miss u looking in mine..
I miss u  & u r  never there for me anymore..
I miss u  telling me “I miss u”..
I miss u  asking about my day..
I miss u  asking about  my exams..
I miss u & I know that nothing will gonna be the same again..
I miss u & I can’t tell u..
I miss u & u don’t feel it..
I miss u & u are not missing me..
I miss u & I want u back..
I miss u & I know u will never be with me again..
I miss u & u tell me life is busy ..
I miss u being the old friend that I first knew ..but Nothing stays the same..
I miss u being my close friend that I thought u were..
I miss u badlyyyy…
I miss u & I can’t do anything about it..
I miss u ..I miss u & I miss u..

I miss u & it seems that I am gonna miss u a lot.

    

    When u do something for someone ,if it is a favor,a surprise or any good thing..
He simply thank u & waits for something good that u want to pay u  back..

Even if that person don’t know u well…..He can’t deny the good deed u made him & he must PAY U Back..

SO What about GOD?!!!!!!!!!!!!

if u made something good for him…will he just forget this thing & don’t pay u back ?!!!

Will he say” OK ,I will pay him back later”?!!!

Will he say:”No,that is not a very good thing u made for me ,So I will not give u anything this time ”!!!

Will he ever say:”No,that’s not what I want.. I want more work”!!!

Will he say:”U r fired,Don’t work for me again”?!!!

NEVER……….He will never ever say that to u …Why is that?!!!!!!!!what makes him not say that ?!!

That’s simply BECAUSE HE loves ME & U !!!

In sometimes in my life ,I felt God’s hand very obvious in my life…
But When I started to forget him sometimes & not involve him in everything……that’s when I began to go down or sometimes fail in simple things that I used to succeed in before.
You don’t have to pray all day or read the bible all day in order that he be with u …
U don;t need to be at church all day …
U just need to remember him at least once or twice everyday so that he can guide u & be with u the hall day..
U just need to tell him THANK YOU DEAR GOD for the simple things that he gives us ,& that we take for granted sometimes &  feel that it’s our rights to have these things…
We have to thank him if we  wake up everyday without a pain in our bodies…
We have to thank him if we have 2 good eyes that can see ……a mouth that can talk …..a nose….. 2 healthy ears that can hear ,2 hands & 2 legs….

We sometimes forget that there are manyy many people who don’t have one or 2 of these things & still they may be more thankful than we are..

we have to thank him for having a nice home & nice family ..if u have a brother or a sister,a mother & a father…There are many people in that world that can live all their  lives without having someone beside them to love them & share with them the good & the worse things…..

I can’t write all the gifts that god really give us everyday..

I am not writing these things Beacuse I love giving advises to people for example …No that’s not it!!!

I am writing this in order to remind MYSELF before any one else that God is HERE for me….
& that he gives me so much EVERYDAY …….&  whatever I make will not pay him back anything.,,,
All he wants me to make is THANK HIM..

SO,THank YOU GOd For everything U give me today..:-)

I just would like to share something with u that I liked very much…
it can change ur life if u let it to:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxY92Oafv28

Watch it & TELL ME ur opinions

I was happy to talk to him today…I was happy at the first begining coz he was with me in my dreams & I was thinking of him when he called me…
I don’t know why I was happy that much ..although he said some words that I didn’t like but after some time ..I forgot those words & kept talking & I was happy again.
I just don’t know!!!!!!!
I feel that we r not suitable at all for each other…he has some points that I don’t tottaly like or let me say I may hate that things…But also he makes me happy when I talk to him.
Many people may find him not a very nice character…He is just a differnet character than many  people.
Am I attracted to him just because i don’t find another character that I like that much?
Or may be I don’t find another one to talk with him like I talk with him..

But I like somethings about him I guess..He made me like things that I didn’t use to like..He made me know some  people that I didn’t know before..I spent some nice time with him that I didn’t spend with someone else…I was happy to go out with him although I was very hesitant to do it.

I don’t know if I really like him Or I like the way he treats me…Or Even I like the feeling of Loving someone itself….As they say “A woman may Love for the sake of LOve itself “.