There have always been a Secret part of Me that I couldn’t share with anyone in my life ..Even the Closest Ones..I don’t know why !
Or May be, I never found the one who is similar to me that much….who can understand this part …& make me reveal that part…Neither family , a Boy nor Even A girl !
I don’t know if I shall call myself lucky or Unlucky for that !!
This part have mainly been thoughts & Wishes that I don’t say out loud, they just stay in my Head.
These thoughts include Fantasies, memories, Experiences I want to have, Or May be some that I already had but don’t want to share.
Only One person that I met in my life, made me reveal part of these thoughts & Fantasies, & Actually wish to share it with him.
He always Succeed in making me say what I never thought of saying & do what I Never Ever thought I can do one day!!
& Actually that Person succeeded to make me Wish To share these things with him & only Him!
He succeeded in making me achieve one of the fantasies I have alwaysss wished to have ..last Wednesday(5/12).
I was there at his home, on an unintended visit, He was dropping me home , but he decided he wanted to pass by his home to change clothes, He invited me to come up instead of staying in the cold…& I agreed.
He started showing me around the house & then invited me for something to drink, So i sit on the couch waiting for him, when he came & sat beside me .
He started playing with my hair, grabbed me closer ,& then started hugging & flirting.I was so still at first, but then I started reacting back . I know I wasn’t that good or experienced.I was So tensed & Afraid!
The only thing that made me accept that-although i wasn’t ready at all on that day- Is that I wanted for that to Happen since a long time ago! That was one of the Biggest Risks & Greatest Fantasies Ever in My Life.
We started kissing,cuddling on the couch then floor…He was so intense & making it go sooo fast, that I had to tell him to take it easy:D!
I told him i was afraid of what is happening now, He told me dont be , coz it always ruins Happiness , & HE was right!
I was so tensed & afraid that I almost ruined the moment & wasn’t able to react the same way I feel.
At some special moment, He should me something that I should have reacted with OMGG! That’s HUGE !!How Amazing is that ! But I didn’t! …..Instead I was like this is sooo Wrongg :# :@ :$:!…Stupiddd I knowwwww!
He deserved the first reaction very Much..Omgg that Thing of his was HUGEEEEEEEEEE!
He was probably the sexiest I have ever saw in my lifeeeee..but I wasn’t brave enough to tell him that :S!
After that I went into his bedroom to pick him some clothes to wear , & then … he hugged me from the back & started kissing again , & pushed me on the bed…(Something I wanted to avoid from the beginning very much, But I couldn’t! Because part of me wanted that also very Much!)…& Started revealing the Vampire instinct he has…That wants to bite me for pleasure
I tried to make it short as much as possible…It was really short ( & I ruined most of it ) but It was Still an Amazing Experience that I wished to have for soo soo longg! & I never wished to do it with anyone but Him!
The above Fantasy is one of the parts I can NEVER reveal about me… Because I come from a very conservative Religious family, who keep on talking about God , About what is right & what is wrong, what is sinful & what is not …All the time !
They can never accept that or even imagine it …They even aren’t convinced that someone can do a wrong thing just for the sake of getting the Experience of it !
On the contrary of me ,I Have always been convinced that the best way to learn about something is by Experiencing it.
Although I know that sometimes it is the hardest way to learn it , But Why not…Life is Hard Anyways …Isn’t it ?!!!!
I Still can’t Believe I did that actually ..It was like a Dream …A Quick One!
The only thing that I wish for now , is that I wont get hurt regretting it in the future…OR He end up telling anybody about it & ruining it for me…That I could be doomed with only one small act like that :)!