Not only the feeling is fading away, But he is also leavingg!!!
My Love is leaving work to a New place. He told me last week.He called me to tell me his leaving & it is only almost 2 weeks left.(by Today it is only 9 days left)
I didnt know what to say at first..I didnt know if I was happy or sad.But I did cry for a while.
The reason i say i might be happy is that i asked god earlier to end my misery one way or another coz I didnt know how to end it..& Here it is..He is ending it.
The confused feeling of having feelings for someone , & He having feelings for u , but at the same time he can’t give u all what u want or what u need because he has another life, with another committments..The feeling of being in love & not being in love..the feeling of being in a relationship (or dreaming u are) but at the same time it is just in secret & u cant talk about it or declare it to anyone, neither to ur family, friends or even friends at work who are all around u , Stalking us both with their eyes upon every move.
That weird confused fucked up feeling is a hell of a feeling..I cant understand how did i live with it for the past 3 & half years.
And Now I cant stop thinking about how i will come to work knowing he is not there!
Who will i talk to or sit on his desk, who will i take a break with …He was my closest person at work:(..& My love…& My best Experience Ever…I dont think I will Ever replace him..No Matter what.