Do I really wanna write about that ??! Do I wanna document it ?
I dont know !Part of me Say I want to , & Another is saying Dont!
Another part of my Dreams/Fantasies is coming trueee…Finally!
Apparently it is A bit late , & Not Exactly the same way I dreamed of , But At leasttt it is better
I have been Dreaming of breaking the rules ! Breaking the cage & Going Wild…For So Longg!
& Only Yesterday I did it !!
I neverrrrr thought I would be able to do it…NEVER!
Never Had the guts, the time , the place or the right person to even think of doing it.
Untill yesterday! I Challenged mySelf & my Fear…& I DID IT!
Dont know if after a while will I feel the same excitment or not.
Today I was feeling mixed feelings, a small guilt feeling,Butterflies feeling ,feeling of weirdness, feeling sexy , feeling confident!…..Too Much huhh!
But all these types of feelings make me feel Stronger…Stronger than I think!
But is that a Real Feeling?!! Or it will change to a feeling of total weakness after a while?!
I dont know why did God put me in that experience for 2 years now, with all these challenges ?!
All I asked for in my life was someone to love me & That I can love him back!
I didn’t ask for all of that! I didnt ask for having all this challenges when I am the weakest
person in the world…It was expected that I am gonna Surrender one day.
AND The Challenge is still On ..>Who knows how it Gonna End!
P.S: Dear God, If you still need me & Consider me yours, Save Me from this & Send me What I want…But Don’t Punish Me More, Coz I might Rebel More…Thanks!!