I am sorry!!!

    May be I am wrong in how I deal with u mum,I don’t know why I do this …While I am in need of someone to talk to & I don;t find this in any of my friends ….I don’t know why I don’t find it at ease to talk to u sometimes about how I feel sometimes towards any one…I may have told u that no he is just my best friend…but I just resisted to uncover anything I may feel ..I may have openend my heart a little..why not ?!!BUt I didn’t want u to focus on someone..or to put him in mind….so I just keept on DENYING..       OH my GOD:(.. I am so bad in this…I will never be a good mum…I think that what I am doing right now ,will be done with me in the same way & may be worse!!!!!!!
BUT I don’t know if u deserve that or not…I don’t know if what I am doing now was because u did that with ur mother or it is just ME I am the special case ??!!
But I think too that God is a Fair God that he will not give u something that u will not deserve…

      May be that is not true at all …& I am just saying that trying to find an expalanation of why I am doing this .

Some Facts about me

While I was just surfing & checking random blogs,I decided to write something new  in my blog:).I just wondered how many people can just go on & write things in details that happens in their day.I sometimes can’t keep track of my thoughts as I am a kind of person who thinks so muchhhh….(which i really hate about myself sometimes) .
I don’t have the gift of writing (I mean poems or stories)…I just improvise sometimes ..just express myself in simple words not more.
I wish i had that gift,coz I am a kind of person who don’t talk easily with friends about something that is bothering me …or I don’t get out what’s inside of me to anybody…So I wished I had the gift of writing to express myself more, But thank god anyways.
I sometimes even don’t know what are the gifts that I am gifted with !!!I which I could know that..
I used to love drawing a lot when I was a child,& my Grandparents used to encourage me . But, after high school I nearly stopped drawing, except for some drawings for some disney characters that I sometimes still love to draw .
Also ,I used to play the piano …I used to get my ” Casio keyboard”(which i still have but didn’t touch for a long time !!)& start to hear a song for some time & then improvise to try to get it on my own..that used to be good..
I  played tennis when I was a kid..but that didn’t last long..I also took swimming lessons ,which I used to loveeee very much & I was really good at it :)….I remember that my coach was about to encourage me to join water ballet school but it needed a lot of training & my mother wasn’t able to drop me off there that often because of her work ..while my father was travelling at that time ..
I  used to love my coach …he was a sweeet guy that I still remember his name although that  was about 13 years ago…(wow that’s a long time ago!!)Sometimes u don’t realize that u r that old,& that all these years past by you….
I wish I had completed traning of any of these sports ,at least one of them would have been my hobby right now!!

that’s enough for now…I think  I willl complete later

Which Disney Character am I ?

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The BeastYour alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name… you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you. The Beast 81% Pinocchio 75% Sleeping Beauty 56% Cinderella 50% Goofy 50% Peter Pan 44% Snow White 38% Donald Duck 31% Cruella De Ville 25% Ariel 19%

friend worth ur tears, will never make u cry

At some point in my life ,I realized that whatever number of people u can know,Don’t call anybody a friend.
Because “FRIENDS” is a big word that seems NoBody knows what does it mean ,specially now-a-days.
You can call him/her a colleague or a person that u know or someone to spend nice time with…that’s why don’t expect too much from him/her…coz they r just some persons in ur life,in a special time of it ,& then …..
I feel so bad that I am the one saying these words, coz I used to BELIEVE in friends very much & I really trusted so many,& considered so many my friends & sometimes my BEst friends.BUT UNFORTUNATLY,every time it ends up the same way…getting me down to earth !!!!!
Some people say about me that I am too sensitive person,but the strange thing that happen is that I didn’t find only I friend that is sensitive like me or that cares about me like I used to care about many friends.
I wonder if the problem is with me not with them!!!!!!
I return to ask myself: what do I do wrong in dealing with friends ??
Most of the time I don’t ask for too much…may be the only thing that I sometimes want ,is to have at least ONE person only in my life to call him/her MY Best Friend…& He or she also call me his/Her Best friend…OF course I don’t ask people for this ..But is that too much for a  person like me??!!!!Is that a hard thing to find these days?!!!!!
Through my 13 years of school & almost 4 years of college now,I didn’t find a best friend except for 2 persons in my life that were best friends for me But only for a short time .& I then now we r just friends that don’t see each very often & we don’t have something common between us nowadays except our childhood memories…

I like the quote which says:”A friend worth your tears, will never make you cry “….But this means that all my life I didn’t find someone really to call A Friend…& it seems I never will…& I don’t want to search for more friends…it is enough what I had!!
I hate being or feeling desperate!!!I really hate the feeling…

Down to earth!!!!!!

Don’t depend on people …no matter what …they will let u down.
Even the ones that u may consider special to u or u may consider close ..no matter what…they will let u down at least once or twice or may be more than that….The Bible was really true when he said “Those who will depend on another man  shall be damned…”